Girly Girl

I’m a diva at heart. I love having my nails done, my hair done, great clothes and cute shoes. In fact, My Zumba clothes make up about half of my wardrobe, because they are so stinkin’ cute! 

However, my spring/summer wardrobe is seriously lacking. Time for a trip to Goodwill! Yes, you heard me. This diva shops at Goodwill. While I appreciate keeping up with the latest styles, I also know that 1.) I can’t afford the latest styles brand new off-the-rack, and 2.) Most of the newest styles aren’t made to flatter my particular body and my tastes. For instance:

Hip hugging, low cut jeans. Um, no. I’m a full-grown woman, with all the curves that come with bearing 3 children into this world. I know exactly what happens when I try to put all my curves into those jeans. Bad plan, right there.  Top it with a skinny t-shirt, and it gets even worse.

Skinny t-shirts? Sometimes. Not often, and not the ones with the high tight necks on them. I’m over 6 feet tall, so that means I’m longer in the neck, chest and torso than most people. High necks are not flattering for me. 

High Heels? Not often! Again, I’m tall enough on my own, and I tend to look a little freakish in heels. Not happening. I do have 2 pairs of heels. One pair of dress shoes that look really classy with just about anything, and one pair of high-heeled boots that look great with my non-hip-hugging jeans.

And that leads us to Goodwill. I occasionally find some good bargains there, and I enjoy browsing the racks, if for no other reason than to occasionally exclaim, “Oh my gosh! Someone actually wore THAT??” It’s quite entertaining. And it’s great for getting clothes for the kids too, because they outgrow everything so fast. Why would I pay full price for anything, when I can buy all the kids clothes for $1.99 for each item? It’s a great bargain!

And this leads me to my point. I may be a Diva at heart, but I’m a bargain-hunting Diva. I do my own nails to save money. I usually do my own hair, but I’ve recently started seeing Kelci Dean at Hairsketcher’s in Owasso, OK. She’s fabulous, and treats me like family. Love her to pieces!

There are a few things I refuse to skimp on: Undergarments and Shoes! Nothing beats a well-fitted supportive bra, and I pay dearly for mine. They last a good long time too, so it’s actually a great bargain. As for shoes, I go through tennis-shoes like nobody’s business, so I don’t buy the cheap ones. I also prefer to be kind to my feet, since they are the only feet I’ll ever have, so I buy good, cushy, supportive shoes. They’re usually quite costly, but again, worth every penny.

I love being a Girly Girl, and I love the feeling of being a Diva and saving money at the same time! Now I’m off to get my hair done!

Moving on up

Something big is going to happen. Soon. Maybe. I hope.

One of my dreams is to own a home. To no longer rent and pay another person’s mortgage. To have a mortgage of my own, with a home and property to go with it. 

Over the last 7-8 years, I have looked at a few homes with the hope that something would pan out in my favor, and I would at last become a homeowner. All I ever became was disappointed.  The process has always gone like this: Me or My Sweet Hubby find something we want to look at. We go look at it, and because I’m an eternal optimist, I see POTENTIAL, and PROMISE, and WORKABLE. And so I ask my Daddy to go look, because Daddy is smart! He knows things about carpentry and buildings, and he’s bought several homes over the years, and he is my EXPERT. So Daddy goes and looks at the Potentially Promising Workable property and finds STRUCTURAL PROBLEMS, FINANCING ISSUES, or other THINGS THAT MAKE THE PROPERTY I WANT A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT.

And the despair sets in. And I give up. I quit looking. No one will finance us anyway, what’s the point? And then I stay in RENTAL HELL, and continue to pay someone else’s mortgage while licking my wounds, and believing that I’ll never have my dream. This process repeats itself every year or so. I find another Potentially Promising Workable Property, and Daddy looks at it, and shoots it down.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad at Daddy. He’s awesome, and he knows things. And he’s usually right. 

And this time, Daddy is not letting me go through my PROCESS. He’s pushing me onward, in an effort to get me my dream. He’s telling me, look again. Don’t give up. Keep looking. Keep trying. Because my Daddy? Yup, He’s awesome. He knows things. He helps me. He loves me, and wants me and my family to have a place of our own. 

I’m a lucky lucky girl. A girl with a dream. And all the help I need to make it happen.

Thanks Daddy!

This little light of mine

No, I don’t mean the song. Or rather, I do, but not in the religious sense. And now you’ll be singing it alllll day long. You’re welcome! 

My light is a candle. You know the kind, the long taper. Imagine your own candle, in your hand right now. How tall is it? What color is it? Now light it. Hold it right in front of you, and turn off all the other lights. Notice that glow around you, that beautiful, slightly wavering pool of golden light. That light is love. Love creates a circle around each of us, with us in the center. 

Who else is in your circle? Your children, spouse, parents, of course. Friends? I have a few friends in my circle. Sabrina, Cristy, and quite a few others, most days. 

Watch the flame. It flickers, and the light changes. The circle shifts and wavers. Sometimes the circle is large and strong, and the light burns bright. These times are when all is right, and we are full to overflowing with love for the people around us.

Sometimes the circle gets smaller. The flame burns low, and needs nurturing and coaxing to grow again. At these times, only the most important people remain within our circle of love’s light. My circle always includes my Sweet Hubby, my three beautiful children and my parents.

And then, when the flame grows strong again and the circle expands once more, we look up, and perhaps we find that the people in our circle are different people. Not just that the people who were there before have changed, but maybe they’re gone? Maybe they’ve been replaced by new people? 

“Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.”

And always, at the center of the circle of love’s light, there is you. 

Nurture your Light. Let it shine.

Catching Up

When we were kids, we played games like Hide-n-seek. Tag, you’re IT! Nobody wanted to be IT. All the running, and chasing, and the people you wanted to catch were juuuuuuust beyond your reach. OH! Almost had ‘em!.... Run to the left, around the tree, do a little back and forth number around the trash can… You know the one, were you go left, and they go right to get away, so you both stop, then you go right, and they go left…. Yeah… Those are good times when you’re a kid! 

As an adult? Not so much. The game I seem to play these days is Catch-Up. Catch-up the laundry. Catch-up the bills. Catch-up on some sleep. Catch-up on my reading for school. Doctor’s appointments, medication refills, homework, phone calls to return. Always playing catch-up, never ahead of the game.

I’m always IT.

A letter to my Mom

Dear Mom,
It's almost 1 a.m., and I can't sleep. You know why, you've done this before. 

On a night very similar to this one, about 20 yrs ago, I slept peacefully in my bed, dreaming of the fun I would have on the 8th grade class trip I would leave for in the morning. We were going snow skiing! The WHOLE CLASS! We were going to ride a bus the whole way there. And not just any old bus, but a nice spiffy Greyhound bus with huge seats, and a bathroom on board! Can you believe it? I was excited. I got to go! Yay!

You, on the other hand, you were probably having a night much like the one I'm having now. You were lying awake in your bed, worrying about what kind of trouble your little girl might get into while she was 400 miles away. What if I got hurt? Would I get enough to eat? Would I be able to call you? What if the bus broke down? Did I pack plenty of clean underwear? Was I really old enough to be crossing state lines on an adventure like this without a parent?

It's my turn to have that night now. My oldest child will leave tomorrow for his first road-trip sans-parents. He will be traveling with a bunch of rowdy boys, on highways riddled with construction. Did he pack enough clean clothes? Something to sleep in? Will he brush his teeth? Will he eat nothing but junk food all weekend? What if he gets hurt? Will he call me to check in? Will he have a great time? And if he does, will he miss me at all?

That night, while I slept peacefully in my bed, you sneaked into my room and placed little tokens in my bag. It was Valentine's Day, and you left a card and some candy. I remember, it was a tube of M&M's with a plastic M&M on the top. He was skiing. You were always great about things like that.

I didn't do anything like that for my son. He won't know the difference, but I will.

I have no way of knowing how many sleepless nights I've caused you, Mom. I have no inkling of the number of times a prayer for me has passed from your lips to the ears of God. But I know this: I know the passion that motivates a mother. I know the fear, the love, the pride, and the worry that comes with having kids.

I left my baby with you tonight, so you could drop him off tomorrow with his friends to begin his newest adventure. I know you have made sure he has a healthy snack, and his toothbrush, and wallet and phone numbers. I know you'll give him an extra kiss and hug for me in the morning, before he leaves. And I know he'll be fine.

You wanna know what else I know? You were right: You love me more.
Thanks Mom.
Love, Jen

This is my life...

I'm not sure what I thought my life would be like in my thirties.
But it wasn't like this. Not that "this" is bad, I just had no idea what to expect.Come to think of it, I don't think I had a plan for my 30's. I've never had a plan for any stage of my life, beyond high school and getting married.
I did high school. Nothing special, nothing exhilarating. I just did it. I got through it. I didn't party, I didn't go to a single football game. I worked. A lot. And then I graduated, and I kept on working. I didn't go to college after high school, I didn't go to college in my twenties. Nope, I had babies in my twenties. Three of them, by the age of 23. So I spent my twenties just getting through from one day to the next.

Now, here I am. I have arrived in my 30's.  Actually, I arrived in my 30's a few years back, but the idea is just now catching up to me. I now have TIME to think about what I'm doing with my 30's, my so-called PRIME.
I'm going to college. WOW! That's a big one.
I'm raising teenagers. YIKES! Another big one.
I'm running 3 businesses from home.
I do the laundry (most days), I cook (sometimes), I study (when I'm not on Facebook), I shuttle teenagers (there's that word again! TEENAGERS! When did they get so big?) all over God's Green acres, run errands, answer phones, get the groceries, pay the bills and occasionally sleep.
And now I blog. Because I have so much free time, right?

This is my life. In my 30's. And I love every minute of it, most days! Some days are so busy, I can't wait til bedtime. Other days are a snore-fest, and I can't wait til bed time so I can do something different tomorrow. But every day is a blessing.
My oldest just turned 14, yesterday, in fact. My Sweet Hubby says to me, "We only have 4 more years with him." And I think to myself, Where did it go? All the time? What did I do with it? I've spent each day getting to next day. I still do. SLOW DOWN! I'm not done yet! I'm IN MY THIRTIES!!
This is my life. Welcome!