A letter to my Mom

Dear Mom,
It's almost 1 a.m., and I can't sleep. You know why, you've done this before. 

On a night very similar to this one, about 20 yrs ago, I slept peacefully in my bed, dreaming of the fun I would have on the 8th grade class trip I would leave for in the morning. We were going snow skiing! The WHOLE CLASS! We were going to ride a bus the whole way there. And not just any old bus, but a nice spiffy Greyhound bus with huge seats, and a bathroom on board! Can you believe it? I was excited. I got to go! Yay!

You, on the other hand, you were probably having a night much like the one I'm having now. You were lying awake in your bed, worrying about what kind of trouble your little girl might get into while she was 400 miles away. What if I got hurt? Would I get enough to eat? Would I be able to call you? What if the bus broke down? Did I pack plenty of clean underwear? Was I really old enough to be crossing state lines on an adventure like this without a parent?

It's my turn to have that night now. My oldest child will leave tomorrow for his first road-trip sans-parents. He will be traveling with a bunch of rowdy boys, on highways riddled with construction. Did he pack enough clean clothes? Something to sleep in? Will he brush his teeth? Will he eat nothing but junk food all weekend? What if he gets hurt? Will he call me to check in? Will he have a great time? And if he does, will he miss me at all?

That night, while I slept peacefully in my bed, you sneaked into my room and placed little tokens in my bag. It was Valentine's Day, and you left a card and some candy. I remember, it was a tube of M&M's with a plastic M&M on the top. He was skiing. You were always great about things like that.

I didn't do anything like that for my son. He won't know the difference, but I will.

I have no way of knowing how many sleepless nights I've caused you, Mom. I have no inkling of the number of times a prayer for me has passed from your lips to the ears of God. But I know this: I know the passion that motivates a mother. I know the fear, the love, the pride, and the worry that comes with having kids.

I left my baby with you tonight, so you could drop him off tomorrow with his friends to begin his newest adventure. I know you have made sure he has a healthy snack, and his toothbrush, and wallet and phone numbers. I know you'll give him an extra kiss and hug for me in the morning, before he leaves. And I know he'll be fine.

You wanna know what else I know? You were right: You love me more.
Thanks Mom.
Love, Jen