Fear

All this talk of impending storms tonight has me very very VERY frightened. I'm generally not scared of storms. Thunder and lightening don't bother me, and I often enjoy the spring rains. I take the opportunity to sleep with the windows open, listening to the rain patter through the trees and drip off the house.

Tonight, I am afraid of tornadoes. My cousin lost her home on Sunday to the tornado in Joplin, MO. She literally has nothing left, except the clothes she was wearing, and her car. So many other people lost so much more, and the loss of life continues to grow each day, as they uncover more wreckage and find more bodies.
My mind goes to strange places in the face of this fear. It is not fear of the unknown. I know what is at stake. I know what I stand to lose. For all that I complain about my tiny house, my tiny "one-butt" kitchen, not having enough storage space, etc., for all my complaining, I am blessed to have a home. To have a roof over my head, to have a teeny little kitchen in which to prepare meals that provide my family with sustenance. To have a room in which I can escape, alone or with my love, to have shelving on which I store the food that sustains us, closets to keep my things in, couches and desks and computers, a washer and dryer, a dishwasher... all these things I have. Others have not. My mind boggles and heart breaks at the thought of losing these things. The thought of having absolutely NO HOME, no room, no closets, nothing left except what I'm wearing, and if I'm lucky, my car. And beyond that, the thought of having to replace all those lost items. The expense! The hassle!
And yet... What about the things that can never be replaced? The lives lost, the loved ones who are missing, the heartbreak, the fear, the loneliness can be overwhelming. That loss I can not imagine. And I don't want to live it. I don't want to find out what it's like. I don't want to experience the fear and loneliness. I don't want to live through that kind of loss.
Tonight I am thankful for my blessings, my tiny house with the tiny kitchen, my too-small closets and rickety shelving, my hand-me-down appliances. More than that, I am thankful that I live, that my cousin lives. I am thankful that so far, we are untouched by any life-taking destruction, and I pray for a hedge of protection around my family, loved ones, neighbors, and friends.

Calm our fears, Lord, and keep us safe in the shelter of Your Love.